by Anikó Hatoss

Australia is highly multicultural, and societal multilingualism is well recognised. While the country is celebrated for its multiculturalism and linguistic diversity, many migrant families face a challenge: their children often lose their heritage language by the second generation. As children grow up in an English-speaking environment, they tend to switch exclusively to English, leaving their family's native language behind. This shift is concerning, especially since Australia prides itself on being a multicultural society. On top of that, research shows that bilingualism offers a wide range of social, cognitive, and cultural benefits, including positive effects on literacy development (Bialystok, 2012).
Today, there's growing recognition of the value of bilingualism in immigrant families, and most parents hope to pass down their heritage language to their children. However, the success of these efforts varies widely from family to family. There are several factors at play, including whether one or both parents speak the heritage language, cultural traditions, personal values, and broader societal influences such as government policies. Families with only one heritage-language-speaking parent tend to see a higher rate of language shift compared to families where both parents speak the language.
Bilingualism doesn’t just impact children cognitively; research consistently shows that bilingual children excel in various cognitive tasks compared to their monolingual peers (Bialystok, 2001, 2007) and they can develop better literacy skills. While the emotional side of bilingual parenting has often been overlooked, it’s becoming clearer that emotions play a key role in how families manage language. For instance, how parents navigate language choices within the family can deeply affect everyone’s emotional well-being.
Language maintenance is an emotional journey for many families. As De Houwer ((2020) puts it, “the subject is very emotional” (p. 63) for parents raising bilingual or multilingual children. Families may face challenges such as children responding in the dominant societal language instead of their parents' heritage language, or parents feeling that they’ve "lost the battle" when their children no longer speak their first language. This can lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety, and frustration. In some cases, relatives or acquaintances may weigh in with well-meaning (but often uninformed) advice about how to raise bilingual children. These outside opinions can add pressure, especially when they don't fully understand the family’s unique situation.
Another emotional hurdle is when parents disagree on which language to speak with their children. Sometimes, one parent may strongly advocate for the heritage language, while the other may not see its value or they may worry that it could interfere with the child’s development. I’ve had heritage-speaking mothers reach out to me, asking for evidence of the benefits of bilingualism, because their spouse is against using the heritage language at home. These disagreements often stem from misconceptions or fears about how bilingualism might impact the child’s development. In some cases, it’s even linked to a kind of "linguistic paranoia" — where the non-speaker feels excluded, or they might assume they’re being talked about in a language they don’t understand.
It’s clear that language maintenance isn’t just about the words we speak; it’s about the emotions, the family dynamics (Hatoss, 2024), and the cultural values that shape how we raise our children. Researchers have even coined terms like “harmonious bilingualism” (De Houwer, 2020) to describe families where bilingual practices don’t negatively impact well-being, and “conflicting bilingualism” for those where language differences cause stress or division.
Ultimately, finding a balance between language learning and emotional well-being is key. As families navigate the complexities of bilingualism, understanding the emotional layers can help create a healthier, more supportive environment for everyone involved.
Bio
Dr Anikó Hatoss is an Associate Professor in Linguistics at the University of New South Wales, Sydney, Australia. Her research is focused on heritage language maintenance in immigrant contexts. She has widely published in this field based on ethnographic and sociolinguistic work in the Australian context. Her latest monograph is entitled Everyday Multilingualism (Routledge 2023) and brings attention to the way public spaces shape language practices. It explores the linguistic landscape as a pedagogical tool for developing intercultural competence.
Email: a.hatoss@unsw.edu.au
References
Bialystok, E. (2001). Bilingualism in development: language, literacy and cognition. Cambridge University Press. http://site.ebrary.com.ezproxy.usq.edu.au/lib/unisouthernqld/Top?channelName=unisouthernqld&cpage=1&docID=5006349&f00=text&frm=smp.x&hitsPerPage=10&layout=document&p00=bilingualism&sch=%A0%A0%A0%A0%A0Search%A0%A0%A0%A0%A0&sortBy=score&sortOrder=desc
Bialystok, E. (2007). Cognitive Effects of Bilingualism: How Linguistic Experience Leads to Cognitive Change. International Journal of Bilingual Education and Bilingualism, 10(3), 210-223.
Bialystok, E. (2012). The Impact of Bilingualism on Language and Literacy Development. In The Handbook of Bilingualism and Multilingualism (pp. 624-648). https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.1002/9781118332382.ch25
De Houwer, A. (2015). Harmonious bilingual development: young families' well-being in language contact situations. International Journal of Bilingualism, 19, 169-184. https://doi.org/doi: 10.1177/1367006913489202
De Houwer, A. (2020). Harmonious bilingualism: Well-being for families in bilingual settings. In A. Schalley & S. Eisenchlas (Eds.), Handbook of home language maintenance and development (pp. 63-83). de Gruyter.
Hatoss, A. (2024). Towards an emotive-relational model of FLP: mapping the connections between family language policy and parental wellbeing. Journal of Multilingual and Multicultural Development, 1-16. https://doi.org/10.1080/01434632.2024.2311722
Sevinç, Y., & Mirvahedi, S. H. (2022). Emotions and multilingualism in family language policy: Introduction to the special issue. International Journal of Bilingualism, 27(2), 145-158. https://doi.org/10.1177/13670069221131762
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